One of the words most commonly associated with Gen Y is the word entitlement. The word entitlement is defined by Merriam-Webster as “belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges”. Take a minute and think about how many times you’ve heard the word entitlement used in describing Gen Y. Now how many of those times was entitlement used in a positive sense? Not many, right?
The internet is full of articles claiming bashing Gen Y’s sense of entitlement; just try Googleing it. But is having a sense of entitlement really such a bad thing?
In Malcolm Gladwell’s new book Outliers: The Story of Success
he writes about a study by Annette Lareau in which she and her team followed a group of 3rd graders from various backgrounds in order to determine where social intelligence comes from. Lareau notes that the children from middle class families exert a sort of entitlement that is lacking form working class and poorer families. Lareau describes this sense of entitlement as a positive trait which assisted children in further developing social intelligence (page 105)
They acted as though they had a right to pursue their own individual preferences and to actively manage interactions in institutional settings. They appeared comfortable in those settings; they were open to sharing information and asking for attention…It was common practice among middle-class children to shift interactions to suit their preferences…Even in fourth grade middle class children appeared to be acting on their own behalf to gain advantages. They made special requests of teachers and doctors to adjust procedures to accommodate their desires.
Gladwell expands upon Lareau’s findings adding
By contrast, the working-class and poor children were characterized by “an emerging sense of distance, distrust, and constraint.” They didn’t know how to get their way or how to “customize” –using Lareau’s wonderful term– whatever environment they were in for their best purposes.
The sense of entitlement found in middle-class children offered them a sort of competitive advantage in comparison to their peers who were not raised in the same light. Gladwell ends the section with saying:
When we talk about the advantages of class, Lareau argues this is in large part what we mean. Alex Williams is better off than Katie Brindle because he’s wealthier and because he goes to a better school, but also because -and perhaps this is even more critical-the sense of entitlement that he has been taught is an attitude perfectly suited to succeeding in the modern world
“The sense of entitlement that he has been taught is an attitude perfectly suited to succeeding in the modern world”. While a sense of entitlement is seen as a negative trait which has resulted from years of gold stars and coodling, could it really be a positive trait which Gen Y has evolved into having?
This is a guest post by Ti whose blog is at Tarnished Thoughts as part of the Big Blog Swap hosted by 20somethings.
I’m the original “Greenchild”, being born and raised in the Beaver State. My roots can be traced back to the Coquille natives on the southern Oregon coast. My lineage has been Oregonian since before there was even an Oregon. My ancestors never left and I guess that explains why I’ll probably never leave either.
There are a few stereotypes about Oregon and her people that hold some actual merit. Yes, the rain does come down sideways and for months at a time. Yes, we do mock people who actually attempt to use those rinky umbrellas that flip inside out at the first gust of wind. Yes, we love our coffee but you won’t see a true Oregonian sipping the Starbucks java. Yes, we are very earth-friendly and attempt to recycle everything. And yes, we have road rage but reserve it for those who sport a “California” license plate.
I’m basically the average 20-something Oregon girl. I can name more rivers than I have fingers and toes as well as tell you how to get there and where the prime fishing spots are. I can even bait my own hook, catch my own fish, clean it and cook it. I’m frequently found hanging around the Coffee House Café (see, no Starbucks) getting myself a totally organic, vegetarian wrap and a cup of caffeine-free Oregon Chai latte. My favorite beer is Dead Guy Ale from the Rogue River Brewery (Newport, Oregon) and while I’m there I usually pop by a fresh seafood market and pick up Oysters to toss on the BBQ. I love to recycle and become enraged when someone litters the most minute thing, like a gum wrapper. Every Saturday, during football season, I’m checking the online scoreboard for the Oregon Ducks. I wear green & gold with pride. There are several T-shirts in my closet, that should be retired, that have something to do with recycling, beach clean-ups or environmental efforts. I don’t wear flipflops because they become snowboards when the ground is wet but I will run around in my barefeet because I love the way the grass and the mud feels between my toes. I have several pairs of sunglasses but only really use them for the morning commute of sunrise and sunset. My jackets are Columbia Sportswear, Nike and Pendleton. When I drive I’m used to having my windshield wipers on max and have developed keen eyesight in the fog. Anything that has not erupted in the last century is a “hill” and not a “mountain”. I’m amazed at an accurate weather report. The water in Oregon is pristine and yet I buy the big pack from Costco.
Silly about me I guess. Most of my friends in other states tell I’m insane when I can’t throw away a can or when I burn into a rage over someone stapling a concert flyer to a tree trunk. I’m just me; girl, green, Oregon, proud.
Everyone has been in an argument with an idiot. It is that person who runs out of speaking points after the first round and deflects every single point you bring up or every question you ask back to that one thing that they support and understand; like having a political debate with someone who gets all of their information from 30 second TV advertisments. And the worst part is that most of the time this person will not give into their opinion being incorrect, no matter how much support you show them supporting your opinion. So how can you win an argument agains an idiot when you logically should have?
Admit to yourself that you probably will not win the argument because it is impossible to argue with an idiot, they simply do not follow reason (if they did they wouldn’t be arguing with you). You must find a way to either (a) call a draw or (b) convince them that your opinion really is their opinion to.
If this argument has came about to kill some time, is with someone you will probably never see again, or isn’t worth fighting anymore it is best just to end it with no winner. This can be done as easily as saying, “well we obviously disagree so lets just leave it at that” or something similar. The key is to return the situation to a positive one by then talking about something you both agree in, like how awesome Wisconsin is.
If this is someone that you have to work with or deal with on a regular basis and you need them on your side then convincing them that your opinion is really theirs may be the best option. There are a lot of people in this world who believe that the only good idea is their idea.
When I was a sophomore in college I was involved with our 1/4 Scale Tractor Design team where I had the honor of working with one of these persons, we will call him Doofus. After 5 months of building a tractor from scratch we took it to competition where we failed our safety check because out exhaust was to loud. Doofus was incharge of the exhaust and he wanted it to “sound sweet” so it was loud, no mufflers or anything. We went out and bought mufflers to put on the tractor so we could still compete and he threw a hissy fit because then the exhaust wouldn’t sound sweet, but without the mufflers we wouldn’t be able to compete at all. He cared more about his idea then the group goal and was willing to throw all of our hard work away because it wasn’t his way. After half an hour of arguing we convinced him that the mufflers were his idea and glorified him for saving the group because he welded the mufflers on. We ended up taking 22nd because Doofus also was in charge of the gas line which came off during the competition. Our design took 5th, he had no part of that. At the end of the day Doofus celebrated saving the team with his mufflers while we drank to him graduating and never having to work with him ever again. Other teams knew what happened, they could see the truth and that was good enough for us.
Idiots tend to argue about stuff they don’t understand because they want to feel superior then others, and most of the time they only way to win an argument is to convince them that they have really won.
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“You cant’ grow if you don’t know what you don’t know”. Criticism, when given with good intentions, provides ideas for ways to improve and grow.
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