I have a class reunion coming up this spring, but it might not actually happen. So far the class seems to be split over if we should have one or not, many people citing the fact that if we wanted to find out what each other are up to these days we could simply check Facebook.

Social networking provides an amazing opportunity to stay connected for collegues and friends, and find more connections and opportunities through sites such as Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and more. The days of sending a birthday card or picking up the phone to see how an old friend is going has been replaced by the minute or less it takes to jump on Facebook, or if you are really feeling like going the extra mile sending an email.

Social networking sites can help maintain a network and keep you updated on new events in one another’s life at a moments notice, but they should not be used to sustain a network. If you entire relationship with someone relies on a server in California how meaningful is it?

I almost titled this post If I am murdered my neighbor did it because that is how I am left feeling every time I have a ‘confrontation’ with my current neighbor.

My roommates and I inhabit the second and third floor apartment of a house, he is our downstairs neighbor.

There were no problems between us until about a month ago when our landlord told him that he would not allow for him to resign his lease.  I am not sure if our landlord blamed us or what went on between them but we are receiving the force of the neighbors anger.

It is hard to deal with someone who is irrational without the situation escalating but I feel that I have learned some valuable skills from first hand encounters that I would like to share them with you.

The goal of these following steps is to dissipate the situation.

1. Don’t argue with the person.  If the person is really upset chances are they will not be willing to see your point of view.  Apologize for the situation and state how you will work to resolve it.  Example, when the neighbor rang the door bell at 12:15 am telling us our television was to loud when we didn’t even have it on and we had previously been waken by him moving furniture around in the middle of the night.  We simply said that we would watch the volume on it and he left promptly.
2. Stay calm.  If you are experience the equivalent to an adult temper tantrum you getting upset and angry will only entice the situation and make the person become defensive.   Example, when the neighbor took my parking space at mid day (meaning I’d have to park a good couple miles away and walk back to the apartment) and started yelling at me that he wanted the spot the moment I pulled into the drive way.  In fear of him throwing a tire iron through my window I decided to run errands.  He is banned by the landlord from parking in our lot because he parks like a jackass and takes up two spots.
3. If a confrontation becomes eminent walk away; not only will the situation stop from becoming out of hand you will look like the bigger person.  Example, when two of my roommates returned from the bar at 2 am and were on the porch talking so quietly that we could not hear them 15 feet away and he came out yelling at them to shut up and woke our entire house and the three neighbors up by yelling, “you guys are assholes and I’m calling the cops.”  My roommates went inside as he stood outside swearing at the empty porch until the cops came because a neighbor called them on him.
4. Contact someone involved who can better handle the situation.  Example, we contacted our landlord in a letter to inform him of our concerns.  Even though our landlord may have caused the hostility if the situation ever escalates to someone being taken to jail there is proof that we have had him harassing us in the past.

Also, a little side note, if the police do become involved make sure that you get a copy of the police report so you can make sure all information is accurate.

In summary, don’t argue, stay calm, walk away, and contact someone who can better alleviate the problem.

There are few things which irritate and disappoint me more then someone who acts as if the world owes them something just for being themselves; those people who exert a sense of entitlement, frequently referenced as a negative trait of my generation.

I recently read a post which is a perfect example of this. The post is titled “Successful Old People Should Stop Being Selfish And Retire” and asserts that young people “can’t find jobs not only because this recession sucks, but also because old people are choosing not to retire…and now: they don’t want to give it all up after squandering away our environment and screwing up our market. So next time when you can’t find a job, don’t blame the minority for filling some quota (that is extremely rarely the reason why you don’t get hired), just go ahead and blame the people at the top.”

After reading that I had to sit back for a moment and consider what I had just read. If I have trouble getting a job it is because some older person at the top (of the company) is refusing to retire. It has nothing to do with me, its only because someone won’t retire. Do people really believe this?

People do not get promoted within a company because there is simply an open, they also have to be qualified to handle the position and its responsibilities. John Infante put it perfect when he commented, “If there’s a post where the fresh blood is being told that they have everything they need to be in that post, except an available post, then I see your point. Especially if it’s conceded that the old guard is able to do the work, but the younger workers in waiting could do it better. The company should be prepared to move that person aside.”

The author argues that older people are not retiring because they are a, “new generation of “old people” think they will never die due to modern advances in medicine. They are ambitious workaholics who are also too selfish and egocentric to step aside and believe that a younger person could do just a good of a job, if not a better one. They are the first generation who have received so much: peace, propsperity, and technology.

I may be incorrect, but I believe OUR GENERATION was described as, up until Sept. 11, as the first generation which has lived in peace, prosperity, and has experienced life only with technology.

In many instances upper level corporate employees will choose to stay on with the company when they could have retired because it is what is best for the company. They postpone their retirement for the benefit of the company, which seems selfless to me. If there is no qualified person to replace them, or the company opts to retain them during a transition period when their successor gradually takes over their duties. If the person was that easily replaceable they would have been fired a long time ago.

If you showed this post to a group of people who have worked their way to their current positions I think they would share the sentiment that JRandom42 expressed in his comment, “You’re supposed to be the best and the brightest, given every chance, opportunity and edge that I never had. You just want me to hand over my success just because you think I should be put out to pasture? I’ll laugh in your face and tell you to grow up and quit whining like my 4 yr old granddaughter. You can have my success and the fruits of it when you pry it away from those I find worthy of it and choose to bestow it on.”

Pushing out older workers does not transform a company into some Utopia full of ‘fresh blood’; it creates a company of unexperienced workers. Money can buy you an education and just about anything you could ever need but it cannot buy you experience. Only time can provide you with the opportunity to gain experience, and experience doesn’t mean anything unless you embrace it. Emily Hill hit on this point in her comment, “Age and experience has its benefits. Once you stop seeing the older generation as the impediment to your success, maybe you’ll see it to. And figure out a way that you can benefit from it.” You can’t learn from experience unless you get off your soap box and embrace it. These people who you are so quick to push out are the ones who formed the industry as it is today, the ones that put the foundation in the ground for companies to be what they are today, and the ones who are wrote about in your text books. They are the ones that you need to be learning from, but you can’t do that until you admit that you can learn from them. There is not a single successful older person who was working in the mail room one day and told their CEO that they could do the job better and was sitting as CEO the next day. They used opportunities they had to showcase their skills and to learn from the older more experienced employees.

I recently took a brief hiatus from blogging to concentrate on work and Rugby. I sprained my ankel at March Madness and Mayhmen Rugby tournament one month ago and then sprained another area of my ankle the next weekend. Thanks to a misdiagnosis I wore a walking boot for two weeks which made my ankle worse and will not be able to start running again for another four to six weeks, so my season has ended my shorter then expected. Taking a break from blogging, which use to consume a lot of my time, has allowed me to gain a new perspective on it. There are three big things I feel that I have learned from my break:

1. Balance is important. With anything that one is devoted to it is important to have a break once in a while in order not to get burnt out. Before my break I found myself getting writters block frequently, and instead of taking a break and going for a run or out with friends I would I find myself spending more time trying to force the idea flow to come, and ending up more frustrated.
   
   Make time for yourself.
   
2. Recognizing what motivates you. When I first started blogging I was motivated my coworkers who I felt were not ideal employees. As I changed career paths and was no longer around those employees it became difficult for me to generate topics to write about that really ignited a passion within me.
   
   Recognize what drives you.
   
3. When I took my hiatus I left the blogging world completely. Upon returning I felt a bit overwhelmed and as if I had been under a rock for the past year (even though it was only months)Stay connected.
   

Blogging is a powerful median which can expand your world, provide a new outlook on situations, and help you through your own situations. I strongly suggest it for anyone who is interested!

Thank you for your readership!

Andy is currently doing a three year Leadership Development Rotation at Principal Financial, a Fortune 250 company. He writes about Marketing, Millennials, and Technology on his blog at www.andydrish.com.

—– 9:00 p.m. at the Berlin train station —–

Me: I’d like a train ticket to Krakow, Poland please.
Ticket person: Actually… that train is already booked. I can get you on another one tomorrow night.
Me: Crap. Um… What other overnight trains do you have departing tonight that are headed East?
Ticket person: Well, you could go to Budapest. The night train has a transfer tomorrow morning in Vienna, Switzerland.
Me: Perfect.

—– 10 Hours later at the Vienna train station —-

Me: Excuse me… where is the 8:00 a.m. train to Budapest?
Ticket person: Sir, the Hungarian train conductors are on strike. There are no trains going to Budapest.
Me: Crap. Um… Where else East would you recommend going?
Ticket person: There is a train departing for Bratislava in 30 minutes.
Me: Sounds good to me. Thanks!

That’s just one of the many scenarios I ran into while backpacking in Europe. Traveling has given me a ton of great stories… like being accosted by Gypsies, sleeping in the homes of completely random strangers, and making money teaching card tricks to cocktail waitresses in Amsterdam.

But stories are only a byproduct of what traveling is truly about. The stories are the “head fake,” if you will.

Traveling is actually about learning. Learning about cultures. Learning about yourself. And, most importantly, learning how to problem solve.

Everyone knows that you’ll learn about different cultures when you’re in a different country. (Duh.) And when you step outside your comfort zone, obviously you’ll learn more about yourself.

But problem solving skills are a hidden benefit of traveling. Our education system doesn’t teach students to problem solve. It teaches students to do the least amount of work possible to get what grade they want.

That doesn’t work with traveling. It’s not about a grade. There’s no text book. There’s no right answer. There’s simply a scenario and a decision to make.

Above everything else, traveling teaches you how to make things happen. And no matter what you do or where you go, that’s a skill that will stick with you for the rest of your life.

I am a 20-something German university student with a passion for literature, languages and traveling, among other things. I am an American and Spanish Lit major and have spent one year living and studying in Oklahoma and another year in Barcelona, Spain. Usually I blog over at Earth to Bella. I’m glad I got the chance to guest blog on here about my experience living in the US as it really was an amazing time and it is always great to reflect on and share my memories with others.

I started studying American Literature in the fall of 2002. In 2003 I decided that I wanted to spend a year at a university in the US. A few months, some research, an application and an interview later, I received a letter congratulating me on having received a spot in the exchange program of my university. A lot of paperwork followed and in July 2004 I finally flew to the States a couple weeks before classes would start. I moved into my new home, an apartment in a university-owned apartment complex, only knowing that my roommate would be the other girl from my home university. We had met up a couple of times before going to the States and decided to room together. I was the first one to arrive, but within a week, my other roommates arrived. They were J., the girl from my university, A. from Japan and A. from Bolivia.

I was very thankful for all the support and help that I got from the staff at the international office, as the first few days proved to be quite the adventure what with trying to find a building, enrolling in classes, and many other things. And all that in the scorching heat that is Oklahoma in August. There were also many volunteer students who helped us international students with settling in and getting around, because none of us owned a car. Not owning a car is not an issue in Germany but in Norman, Oklahoma? You can hardly get around town without one. There was a basic bus service, but it made any trip to the grocery store an event that took several hours. There was that one time I tried to walk to a store and not only did it take me forever, I was also sweaty and thirsty when I finally got there (turns out it was over two miles away!). I ended up having to walk on the green along the street because there was no sidewalk, not to mention the looks I got from people who passed me in cars, probably thinking I was mad. I guess that was one of those moments when my German habits clashed with the reality of life in an American town. Needless to say, that was the last time I tried walking anywhere further than from my apartment to campus and back.

I met people quickly, meeting most of the people I would later be friends with in the first week of classes. I kept in mind that it was me who wanted to make friends, that likely they already had friends, so I knew I would have to reach out to them, but my (now) friends made it easy for me by being really nice and outgoing. Most of the friends I made I am still in touch with almost four years after I left. And even though everyone has busy lives, I try to stay in touch with them and catch up every now and then.

University in the US is quite different from what it is like in Germany. In Germany, our grades all depended on either one paper or one exam at the end of the semester. I liked the US system better, and I did a lot better, having to study less at once, but more regularly, really worked much better for me. But the differences don’t end there.

College life in the US really is a unique experience. In Germany (as well as in Spain, by the way) we don’t really have a school community as US schools do. Basically, here, we go to class, and then we go home. In our leisure time, school doesn’t really play a role. College sports are so important in the US, here no one cares how school teams do, except maybe the teams themselves. I was able to attend two games and OU won both (as they did every other game that season except for the national title), and wow! Norman on game day was an experience in itself. The atmosphere in the stadium was amazing!

Another difference is in the service, equipment and amenities provided by the university. OU (and every other university in the US) is a university funded largely by tuition, fees and donations, it is run like a business, the student is the customer and is treated as such. In Germany, up until a couple of years ago, universities were funded entirely by the state, and the departments had no money. Tuition has now been introduced and things have gotten a little better, but it is still only a fraction of what US students pay. Don’t get me wrong, I love the concept of getting a university degree for next-to-nothing, but I loved being able to enjoy all the amenities of a school where I would have had to pay $12,000 for the year I spent there, hadn’t I been an exchange student (we didn’t have to pay any tuition at all and were waived most fees, except $50 a semester I think).

Besides school, there were so many differences between Oklahoma and Germany. The weather – tornadoes and the shortest winter of my life being one of them. I really loved being able to wear flip flops at the end of February, but in the summer months, all you could do was walk from the air-conditioned apartment to the air-conditioned bus to the air-conditioned classroom to the air-conditioned car to the air-conditioned grocery store … you get the idea. The people – much friendlier and open to meeting new people. I used to think that this superficial friendliness was fake and annoying (as do most Germans), but really, in everyday life, at a store or elsewhere it’s much more pleasant to deal with a fake nice person than a genuine grumpy person.

I loved how Walmart was open 24/7. I loved Sonic Drive-Ins, ranch dressing, Hot Tamales, Old Navy flip flops, Cosmopolitan, pizza at church, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, spending Thanksgiving at a friend’s house, Thanksgiving food (I could die for some Thanksgiving food right now, turkey, sweet potatoes, deviled eggs, and did I mention the pies?), OU football games, Lucky Charms, Mexican food, the school community, and so many other things.

There are many more things I could write about, but I am not sure anyone would want to read that much. I have so many fond memories of that year, so many small things that I treasure.

Living in the States for a year was a great decision. I learned so much, I met amazing people, I was challenged to be more open-minded about people who have different opinions (who are not hard to find if you are a liberal European in conservative Oklahoma, USA). Of course my English improved, and I was able to travel a bit during spring break and after classes ended in May, I loved San Francisco! I saw and experienced so much. I am still in touch with my roommate J. (who would have thought we’d become friends despite having to share a room for almost a year), and several of my friends there even though I haven’t been back in the States since.

I am finally going to be back in the States in March. I’ll be spending a week in New York City and I cannot wait. I will not be able to meet any of my OU friends, but I am so excited about getting to spend a little while in the country I love and miss. Despite all the differences I have written about in this post, I never felt a culture shock, I always felt comfortable living in Norman, I felt welcome, I genuinely felt at home. Of course there were things I disliked about my year in Oklahoma, some bad memories, many tears shed, and not everything is perfect in the US, and I love Germany too, but I feel a connection to the country, people and language that is hard to explain.

If you ever get the chance to study or work abroad for a while, take it! It is a challenge, but it is a great experience. I know many people who have studied abroad and I have never talked to one who regretted it. Even though my year in Spain was not as easy as the year in the US, I don’t regret it, and I would make the same decision again if I had the choice again. Even if you end up not liking the country as much as you expected, you’ll grow, gain confidence, expand your horizons, experience extraordinary moments, and improve your language skills. And that is something no one can take away from you.

JR Moreau is a Worcester, Massachusetts native and takes great pride in being from Worcester, a very different city than Boston. Educated in the ways of Public Relations at Suffolk University in Boston and Literature Philosophy in Univerzita Karlova in Prague, JR diversified his working interests after college to include, but never to be limited to marketing, copywriting, creative writing and sustainable economic development projects. While holding a day job at a media analytics software company, JR is always looking for new and interesting clients to work with on a freelance basis as well as other writers, entrepreneurs and adventerous people to trade stories with.

In the Winter of 2005 I sat in my Boston apartment watching foot traffic walk by my noisy North End location when I heard my roommate mutter to himself “what the fuck is this? Why would I go to Prague? I don’t even know where that is.” I got up and expressed my curiosity at the letter he held in front of him. He said he had been invited to attend a semester long study abroad session in Prague, Czech Republic because of him being on the Dean’s List. My roommate was smart, almost too smart for his own good. He was able to stay up late, party hard and barely try at school and still managed to keep a 4.0 grade point average his first two years of undergrad before transferring to Georgetown in Washington, D.C. I was silently jealous of him, but my silence was broken when a burst of frustration came forth as I shouted, “you’re not even going to consider it? What the fuck is wrong with you John? I’d kill for something like that to be offered to me!”

He shook it off, I did not. This was my first year in Boston after I had barely completed two very unsuccessful years at UMass Dartmouth. I had opted to change my life around as much as a 20 year old could by getting in great shape, cutting back on the booze and taking a new lease on academic life by placing myself in a great city like Boston. However, I knew that I was going to be in great debt due to Suffolk U’s high cost of tuition and Boston’s high cost of living. I accepted that I wasn’t going to be spending any time abroad during my undergrad and that I was going to be as grateful as I could be for living in Boston.

As I went and sulked on the futon after I watched John scoff at my outburst and throw the letter aside, my cell phone rang; my mom was calling her usual once a week call. I answered and immediately answered her question of “how you doing?” with my story about John ungratefully disregarding the letter about studying about and how I wish I was on the deanís list and got invited. I also complained about how I wish I had thought about studying abroad because I couldn’t afford it. After about 5 minutes sitting through my self-pity monologue, my mother interrupted me and said, “Well by the way, you have mail from the dean’s office. Do you want me to open it?”

My heart sank and I went cold and then my heart rebounded off of my stomach and jumped into my throat. Excitement, denial, elation and nervousness all came over me as my mom read off the contents of the envelope (which she had clearly already opened and read before calling, typical mother). She said she thought I should do it which helped quell some doubts I was having. She also was the one who gave me the idea to move to Boston. I was going to ride her lucky advice again.

I went to the information session and it didn’t take much to sell me on this trip. I was told that everything would be drastically cheaper than my current living situation and that I would be among the “elite” intellectuals in Prague taking graduate courses at the Philosophy faculty at Charles University (up until that letter, I had no idea I was carrying a 3.7 GPA, imagine my surprise). So, I eagerly agreed to go as soon as possible, knowing that if I put it off for too long I wouldn’t go and I packed my bags a short 3 months after signing up.

Choosing to study abroad in Prague or choosing to study abroad at all is probably among the best decisions I have ever made in a lifetime. I have no reservations in telling you that there were some pretty rocky moments when I was over there, such as having things stolen in my dorm room, blacking out from excessive drinking and being extremely homesick during Christmas and Thanksgiving. But, even with such things happening to me, I’d say it took my experience from 100% down to maybe 98.5%. Barely even worth mentioning.

I couldn’t begin to start listing all of the great things I was able to do while there that meant so much to me because I would likely go on all night. Just to name a few memorable moments, I sat in on classes with the first person to ever translate Shakespeare into the Czech language. I found a cafe where nearly no one spoke English and spent most of my free time there drinking beers, espresso shots and searching for native conversation. I was invited to a film school party and had an amazing time with some of the most talented and creative people I’ve ever met. I traveled to Vienna, Austria, many small towns in the Czech country side, saw the grim and sobering Terezin concentration camp and missed my train to Dresden, Germany when I came down with a bad case of the flu (or the Czech common cold, as my boarding mates teased me). I wandered through the dark cobblestone streets late at night with friends I made for life talking about how we were going to figure out a way to stay and finish our degrees there. At some points I wanted to come back more than anything and for the last 2 months of the 5 months total I spent there, I swore I’d never leave.

I’m over-come with emotion and fond recollections when I think about Prague. I don’t quite know if I’ll ever be able to go back or spend significant time there or anywhere else in Europe for that matter, but the memories I have won’t fade from my consciousness for a very long time I don’t think. For me, faces and names fade, but the sense of place that I am able to achieve so rarely leave my bones and heart no matter how hard I try to move on.

For anyone looking to study abroad and is doubtful about how they’ll do independently, financially or socially, I say just take the jump. It’s not for everyone, but if you’ve considered it a few times, it’s probably for you anyways. Prague, because it is not on the Euro (yet) is very cheap for Westerners. I suggest you go while it stays that way.